Leadership for the petrified

How to become a leader when you’re scared out of your mind.

I’m scared, I can admit it. The leader in me is coming out and I’m scared. In a vulnerable moment my wife (who studies leadership in her Ph.D. program, shared some very reeling knowledge:

“Leadership isn’t having the answer, it’s fostering an environment where the answer can be found”

– Shayla Treadwell

Throughout life, I was taught that leadership is knowing what to do, but every leadership book I’ve ever read says no, you just have to have the courage to lead.I am currently in the process of redefining leadership  and in doing so, I have begun to ask myself the following questions:

• What does it mean to lead?
• Who am I leading?
• Am I leading effectively?
• What am I leading towards?
• Let’s tackle these questions together:
• What does it mean to lead?

Unless you are being told what to do every moment of every day, you are self-leading. Every decision you make is leading you somewhere, so it’s high time to lead effectively and consider the outcome in the short term, midterm and long term. Which redefines leadership (of self or others) to mean defining and forging a path to the desired destination.

Who am I leading?

I have been challenged to reevaluate my leadership technique with myself. I also see the web that leadership weaves. People tend to lead not only themselves but their spouse, children, immediate and extended families, co-workers and more. This requires you to define the desired outcome for every relationship/interaction you have (spoken or unspoken) to ensure that you and the person you are leading. You must ask yourself are you leading the relationship, or is the other person? I believe that relationships can be co-lead as in marriages and other domestic partnerships where a common goal is met and pursued.

Am I leading effectively?

This next question requires the dreaded feedback. Looking back over your life and relationships,  is my current position by design? Have I achieved everything that I wanted by this point in my life, career, relationships, goals, etc. At this point, I also find it important to reevaluate if there are ways I can improve the effectiveness of my leadership capabilities.

What am I leading towards?

This is the easiest to ask but the hardest to answer, The question is not what is the destination but rather, what direction the goal is in. I often think medieval times and the distances they traveled to conquer their goals. They set out for a destination but in the midst of the mountains and the curves that come along with any journey, how do you ensure you are leading to the correct destination? Simply put, what measurements can we put in place to ensure we are on the correct path and that we don’t end up way off course lost and more petrified than ever.

Opportunity is the primary component that makes leadership possible. Every leader; famous or infamous focuses their energies on accomplishing a goal, meeting an opportunity or meeting a deadline. For the petrified leader, this fear is 100% normal and will not go away anytime soon.

Leading begins in Thought, not action. 

Some of the best leaders throughout history lead most effectively by thinking, not implementing.

As you start your journey to becoming a leader you must think critically about the goal, the objective, and the pathway in order to layout a successful plan.

One of the final components that you will need to truly becoming a leader is an influence. Being able to speak with those who can help you meet your goal or opportunity. Have candid conversations with these individuals and enlist their support for your plan.

Leadership is irreversible, once a leader – always a leader. You will never see leadership the same way. (It’s almost like seeing the matrix) you begin to understand motives, passions, personalities and other intangible obstacles that Leaders hurdle every day. Accepting this as the new normal is the final component.